The ‘art of deadma’ is the colloquial term of Filipinos referring to their method of ignoring gossips or naysayers. It’s the common reaction of celebrities against their bashers and detractors, but it’s also the solution of everyone to address problems like office politics. Do you want to learn this art too? Why?
If you’re the one being ignored that would be hurtful, imagine that you’re pouring out all your emotions and yet he or she doesn’t reciprocate. According to Dr.Hemant Mittal; a Psychiatrist, Social Media Influencer, Motivational Coach, Counsellor at Mind-Mantra Mumbai; ignoring people intentionally or silent treatment is ‘psychology of manipulation.’ It may send bad signals depending on the reception of the person, but it also has benefits for the perpetrator like it’s an effective answer to hurt someone without involving in a heated argument and perhaps, a silent way to express you don’t care or respect.
“MIND MANTRA – IGNORING SOMEONE IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL GAME- if you stop playing your part of the game by not focusing on him/her and not getting angry, you might not be able to change their behavior, but you can detach yourself from the negative effects of the same,” Dr. Mittal explanation and tip.
On the larger scale, silent treatment can be also considered as “ostracism.” According to Kipling Williams, a professor of psychological sciences, Ostracism is a kind of social punishment that may lead to emotional and physical or other health concern. It is so powerful that may inflict negative perceptions, conditions and even aggression. Though he also pointed out that there are times individuals don’t realize they give cold shoulders like for example senior employees’ treatment to a new temporary employee.
“First, they’re powerful,” Prof. Williams, who also researches about ostracism, shared via dongrays.com. “And second, you can get away with them. If people are physically or verbally abusive, they can be punished. But it’s hard to punish someone for not making eye contact or ignoring another person. If the person is confronted by asking, ‘Why are you not talking to me?,’ the person can easily deny the accusation.”
According to LiveStrong.com, one solution to silent treatment is to face the perpetrator and try to communicate with him or her. You may still cold treatment, but being open to know what wrong is a good step. However they reminded that ‘don’t play with the game’ by being sensitive enough when to ask and how often. They added that one factor why people prefer to do silent treatment is because they, themselves are having difficulties to face their feelings.